God has been teaching me to trust him, that His support is the only thing I need and not to rely on others for things He can only provide. Through everything I've learned this year God has brought to light that I have used food to provide comfort in my moments of sadness, anger, and happiness. I've first run to food and then regret it and then I go to God. It is a cycle that is destructive and does not bring glory to God.
There are several things that God has used to bring me to this point of understanding. One is the book Captivating by Jon and Staci Eldridge. I highly recommend this book to every women seeking to deepen their relationship with God. This book enlightened me to the things hidden deep in my heart I didn't "see". Then seeking help from someone wiser than me has helped to extract feelings never spoken or expressed before. This lead to a healing of my heart. This past month I began a new Bible study called Spirit Hunger by Gari Meachum. This study has helped me to see scriptures I had read many times before through new eyes. You see Gari's past struggles are in the area of food. It was a stronghold in her life as it has been in mine. Her knowledge in this area of struggle has opened a greater understanding of how God is meant to fulfill the spiritual hunger in our hearts. Another thing God is using to teach me about how I view food is the book made to Crave by Lysa Terkeurst. It is about satisfying our deepest desires with God, not food, shopping, drinking, drugs...
During all of these things going on in the spiritual realm of my life, the physical realm of my life needed lots of work too! My husband and I were inspired by many of our friends who are marathon runners. We decided we would train for the Houston marathon and Half Marathon. We started training in July and training was going well, running up to 6 miles, until I injured my back and took me out of training for 2 months. Lesh injured his knee a month after I did. This was very depressing and I allowed my self the comfort of food again. Once I started feeling better God prompted me to get out of the pit and start running again. So I did and got back up to 6 miles 2 weeks before the Houston half marathon. I was encouraged by my marathon friends that I could run 13.1 miles if I could run 6. So I believed them, but most importantly I believed that God could make it happen.
God has taken me on a tremendous journey this past year and running the Houston Half Marathon was the Peak of my year.
I had butterflies in my stomach all morning long. We woke up at 3 to insure we could eat and have time for it to be processed before the race. We watched The Spirit of the Race a documentary of marathon training, as we got ready. We arrived at the George R Brown Convention Center to check in our baggage- change of clothes for after the race and to meet up with our training group. The air of excitement in the center was thrilling! We took a group picture and prayed and then headed to our starting line. I was able to run with a woman who ran the same pace as me so that was great to have her to shoot the breeze to ease the jitters. Lesh had a different starting line since he ran the full the marathon. The gun went off and it took me 9 minutes to just get to the starting line. It was drizzling, but it felt good to keep me cool. The first 6 miles I felt God just carried me because the running felt so easy! I had so much fun running and being cheered on by spectators. The next 3 miles took more effort, but I still felt good. I saw my family and Nathaniel waiting for me between mile 8 and 9 and that was so great!! So encouraging to my heart! I gave everyone a hug and kiss and kept running.
Now the roads were wet since it rained for most of the race so my socks got wet and started developing blisters on the bottom of my feet, but I kept going. I wrote Psalm 119:32 on my arm with a sharpy marker so that I could read it over and over. It says, I run in the path of your commands for you have broadened my understanding. My friend Gillian emailed it to me the week of the marathon and it just resonated in my heart. Thank you Gillian for your encouragement!
At mile 9 was the turn around to head back to the GRB and that was fun too because I knew I only had 4.1 miles to go. There was plenty of music entertainment on the stretch back and at mile 10 the half marathoners meet back up with the full marathoners. These runners were the Boston qualifiers since they were running 26.2 miles as I was running 13.1 miles. They were fast and flying past me. They were inspiring! So I picked up the pace again and ran through the pain of my feet. KSBJ had posters with scriptures that just made me want to cry because I knew God had brought me that far. The last mile and a half I decided I needed to pull out my IPOD to listen to my song of the year. The song is called Walk on the Water by Britt Nicole. I love that it rained because I was walking on the water! I can't even tell you what happens to me when I hear this song. It is a reminder to me that I was made for more. So I turned it on and let the words penetrate to the depths of my heart and my feet moved. I then started to cry, but then I couldn't breath so I had to stop the crying and just focus on how God had brought me that far and that he was going to finish the race for me. I reflected on all God had taught me this past year and the victories He accomplished in my life.
My favorite line of the song is,
You know you're made for more
So don't be afraid to move
Your faith is all
It takes and you can
Walk on the water too
As a ran down the last quarter of a mile the lines of spectators lined the side of the streets and people shouted my name- it was printed on my bib- telling me I was almost there, telling me that I had done it, shouting way to go, and so many other encouraging words. I felt them all from the Lord. Then I saw my friends John and Gillian and their sweet daughter Leelah- Nathaniels' future spouse so she says. :) I totally lost it when I saw them cheering me on and then finally I ran across the finish line with a HUGE smile on my face thanking God for all He did.
Wow, I am in awe of God's goodness, faithfulness and power. I am thankful for all my friends and family who prayed for me and Lesh. Lesh was unable to finish his race as he got injured and had to stop at mile 21. He ran the race God had prepared for him to run and there is great success there. Thank you Lord for your steadfastness in our lives. I thank God that I am made for more.
Before the race!
Lesh at mile 15
Me between miles 8 and 9
Finisher picture taken by Gillian
It meant the world to me to have you there as my "Earthly" support!!
Thank you for being such an encouragement to me on this journey!!
My bling!
